Last Night before I fly....

So here I am, sitting at Susanne and Uwe Deuke's dining room table at 10:43pm. Tomorrow morning at 4:30am, Susanne and I are getting up to head to the airport. And then my 13 month adventure will be over.

No more dinners with Verena and Steffi, no more student prayer group, no more bar nights, no more walking around Salzburg, no more visiting Christine and Ingo, no more visits to Munich & to Uwe and Susanne, no more taking the train. There will be no more Milka Mousse Schokolade, no more Fußgängerzonen, no more gelato, no more Mezzo Mix, no Tempo Taschentücher, or Til Schweiger Plakate. I will no longer hear "Anschluss in Richtung: Kommunalfriedhof. Birkensiedlung. Parsch. Hellbrunn. Sankt Leonhard. I won't be welcomed by Deutsche Bahn or Öbb to Freisslang or Rrrrrrosenheim.That's it. That's all she wrote.

But the memories I have from this year are going to stay with me for the rest of my life. During my time here I visited all of my host families several times, traveled to 8 countries on two continents, and learned how to understand Austrian dialect. I dealt with difficult classes, loneliness, and sickness. But I also had the most amazing time of my life.

And there are amazing people I have to thank for that:

Steffi Jobst: you welcomed me into the prayer group and invited me to have lunch and coffee with your group right away. You don't know how happy and welcome that made me feel. You are such a wonderful person and I look forward to staying in touch and coming to visit you very soon. And Franz: You made me feel so welcome, too :) You and Steffi make the perfect couple.

Verena: You and I got close pretty fast. You are just such a sweetheart. We have so much in common and I feel like I can share my deepest emotions with you. I will miss you dearly.

Tobi: You were my first University friend. I'm so glad I went on the trip to Vienna and met you. You were so kind and helpful. It's through you that I met Verena.

Tina & Astrid: My future BG girls: I am so glad we were able to meet this year. You girls are so much fun to be around. Thanks to both of you for hosting me for a few nights. I look forward to seeing you in Bowling Green!

Kerstin: Thank you for picking me up at the train station in Salzburg, for coming to visit me often, for allowing me to come with you to visit your family in Abu Dhabi, and for being an all-around good friend. I am so glad we met in Canada three years ago. It was definitely fate. I am sure we will keep in touch and get together again soon :)

Christine: How many times have you picked me up from airports and train stations? How many times have you and Ingo allowed me to stay at your house or partake in some family event? You are so genuine, so kind, and the life of the party. I hope that there will be many movie nights together in our future. Not to mention skype dates. I need a good "Christine laugh" once in a while.

Susanne: You won't ever read this, but I will say it anyway. Thank you for acting as a host family this year. I so appreciated being able to turn to you and your family when I needed a place to stay or a kind word. Before getting to know you better I thought you were such a "typical German." But you don't fit all of my stereotypes anymore...

Frauke: I can't thank you enough for everything that you've done for me. For taking me to Germany 2x, for letting me stay with you at Christmas ;-)

and last, but not least:

Angi: Thank you for picking me up in Tübingen, for being so kind and helping me through those first difficult days. I had a full year ahead of me and I was scared, but you let me deal with my anxiety and I did pull through. You are such a fun person to be with, and I look forward to seeing you again next summer.

Love, Molly

5 days...Random Thoughts

5 days until I leave...

I've learned that I can't the most important people in my life on my hand (or maybe 2). I'm okay with that. Those are the ones that know everything about me and gotten me through everything...

I can't believe I won't be in Europe anymore. It's so surreal. I look forward to seeing everyone, but also look forward to perhaps pursuing a career in Germany. It just makes the most sense. I love Germany, and I feel at home there. And in Germany I would get 6 weeks of vacation a year, allowing me to travel home to Michigan 2 times a year. If I work in America I'll be lucky if I can go to Europe once every summer for a week...

I will miss the bakeries, the ice cream, the pedestrian streets in small towns, my friends here, speaking German, traveling, coffee shops, etc...

It hasn't sunk in. And I don't think it will until I hear the flight attendant say "welcome to Detroit."

This year wasn't what I expected. But it made me stronger.

Hamburg

This past weekend I went to Hamburg for 2 days. On Saturday I arrived at 1pm at Hamburg Hauptbahnhof (train station) and met Tobi, Katharina and Chris at McDonald's. The day we spent together was a fun one. It involved walking around the city, a boat ride, shopping, smoothies at a Strandbar (beach bar), dinner at hamburger joint (in Hamburg-haha, get it?), etc. In the evening we met up Martina, my host for the evening. She is a native Salzburger and is currently working in Hamburg. With her we went out for drinks. I had champagne with strawberry syrup and was drunk after the first sip. I love my low alcohol tolerance :)

The next morning Martina and I went out for brunch, which of course included latte macchiatos. I will miss those :(

I got back to Goslar last evening. Today Frauke and I took the kids to Goslar and walked around. I got a few small gifts for a few people.

<3 Molly

Attitudes towards sex in Germany vs. the US

Having spent a good amount of time in both Germany and the United States, I have noticed one very big difference. And the difference has to with the attitude towards sex in both countries.

In Germany, sex as seen as a natural thing that happens, even between young people. Most German teenagers who are in relationships are allowed to sleep at each other houses (and yes, I mean together in the same bed). Even if they have their significant other just come over for the day, they are allowed to go up to the teen's room together, close the door, and be undisturbed. Sometimes they're having sex, sometimes they're not. But they have the opportunity to do so. And their parents aren't stopping them. They themselves were brought up that way and would rather have their children doing it at home than in a car somewhere. Sex is a fact of life, and other than telling their children to be safe, German parents aren't going to do much else about it.

In America, at least where I grew up, sex is seen as an act between two consenting adults. Parents don't want their teens having sex, and they aren't going to condone having it done in their home. In high school, having a significant other sleep in the same room/bed with their teen is going to be out of the question. Sex=pregnancy. Sex is dangerous and is only for adults. Most parents are just going to say not to do it, others will talk about birth control: and then proceed to tell their children not to do it.

What do I think? I think an open attitude towards sex is more healthy. I think parents and children should be able to talk about it, and I think teens should learn how to be responsible (according to recent studies, more American teens get pregnant than European teens. doesn't that tell anyone anything?) While I most likely would not let a child have their significant other sleepover until they are 18 (even that wasn't allowed in my home: but it has to do with American culture)-a senior in high school, I would let them have their significant other over, go in their room during the day, close the door, etc. You have to trust your child. It makes no sense to not allow them any freedom up until you send them off to college. It's no wonder so many college kids "go wild."

What do you think?? Please post comments on Facebook.

Back in Germany...

This semester ended exactly a week ago. I went to my German as a Foreign Language Course on Thursday, and then took a train to Munich. I babysat for Susanne and Uwe's kids, slept over, and headed to northern Germany the next day.

Now I'm helping Frauke a bit out with her kids, and relaxing before going back home. At this point I only have 11 days left in Europe. Very strange. I'm trying to a strike a balance between being excited about going home and enjoying my last precious days here. I don't want to wish them away.

This weekend I'm going to Hamburg for the first time. I'm sleeping at a friend's and meeting up with Chris, Katharina, and Tobi. It should be a really fun time :)

Not much time left...and I definitely don't have that much money left. Just trying to enjoy German food, nature, etc, and try not to think about the fact that I won't set foot on German soil again for awhile.

Don't get me wrong. I am excited to go home. I know that my friends and family are waiting for me. Charlotte is coming home for a few months as well, and we're already making fun plans, such as going up north and also visiting Gracie.

I'm getting so much better at dealing with change. I'm embracing it ;)

Love, Molly

Living in the past

It's something I know a lot about. I would replay things I'd done wrong in my head, over and over, torturing myself. It was never enough for me just to admit I made a mistake and move on. I've had issues to deal with in my life like everyone else. But I never forgave myself for the things I did, especially the issues I had after my scary experience in Italy/Switzerland.

I forgive myself now. Everything happens for a reason. My journey has brought me here, where I am supposed to be. Perhaps I wasn't the most level-headed, mature teenager in the world, but who was? Like everyone else, I too had my demons. But I fought them off and am turning into the woman I want to be.

So I'm going to go forward knowing that I have grown and moved on.

-Molly

Friendship

In English we have the words "friend" and "acquaintance," but I have to admit I would be more likely to use the world friend to describe someone I know. The word acquaintance sounds so old-fashioned, and somehow, impolite. In German, however, the distinction between a "Bekannte" and a "Freund" is often made.

What is the difference between the two? Until I started traveling to Germany, I didn't really think there was one. I assumed that the people I spend time with at home are my friends. I've since discovered otherwise. In Germany, a "Bekannte," or acquaintance is a person that you know. You may have worked with them, gone to school with them, they are a friend of a friend, etc. You may go out with them, enjoy their company, etc. But the defining point is: you don't go beyond the surface. You don't talk with them about your problems or concerns, your embarrassing moments, your happy ones. You don't call them when you need help, and they don't call you.

I am starting to think acquaintances can be good if you take them for what you are, but I would rather have a handful of good friends than a million acquaintances. My truest of friends is my best friend, Charlotte. She knows everything about me and I go to her when I need help.

I tend to think there are less deep friendships in America, and I don't believe it's because we are superficial. There is just this idea in America that by asking for help, you're weak. We also want to be polite and don't want to bother our friends. I think this is what leads to Americans going to therapy, so they can finally talk to someone about their lives. I'm not saying I share everything with even my best friend-because I don't. But I do share a lot...

It's coming to an end...

This year has been everything I could've hoped for and more. I won't sugarcoat it and pretend that everything went well, because it didn't. The first 3 months in Austria were some of the most difficult I have ever experienced in my short 23-years of life. It wasn't easy meeting Austrians, especially since most of my classes were with all Americans or foreign exchange students. It wasn't easy getting used to the culture. Whoever said Germany and Austria are one in the same was lying. But I got through those first few months and then got proactive and met people through the student church group, and I'm so glad I did. I also took advantage of my time abroad and traveled around 8 different countries on 2 continents. I was able to visit so many wonderful German families that I love so very much, and enjoyed visiting friends all over Europe. This year has taught me so much, and I'll be forever grateful for it. It's an experience no one can understand unless you've lived it. I have much more sympathy for what people have to go through when they live in a foreign country. It's not all fun and games. But if you put yourself out there and try and meet people it can help the situation to an extent.

2 weeks from Monday I will be heading back home, carrying with me a knowledge of German and of myself that I simply didn't have in the beginning. Not sure where I will end up next year after finishing my degree, but I am confident what happens will be for the best. A few years ago I would've never expected that I would spend a year abroad in Austria of all places! But it worked out perfectly in the end. I had the support of good friends who were just a train ride away in Bavaria, and was able to meet some great people in Salzburg.

To those of you who helped me during my time here: I appreciate you very much. You are what made this experience a positive one for me.

Love, Molly