Oops, wrong train + Hey-you're American: why aren't you fat?

Oops, wrong train

On Thursday I made the long journey from Goslar back to Salzburg. Everything went smoothly for a while, until the 2nd time I was supposed to change trains. When I arrived at the correct platform I noticed that the train arriving several minutes before mine was delayed, a normal occurrence when dealing with Deutsche Bahn (the German train company). A few minutes went by and then a train arrived. Assuming it was mine, as the other train was to be very much delayed, I double checked (it was indeed heading to Munich) and got on. I read my trashy gossip magazine, watched lifetime movies until my laptop battery died, and then basically died of boredom. As I glanced at my watch I was a bit surprised. We were already 20 minutes late, and I had missed my next connecting train in Munich. I didn't remember an announcement that we were delayed, as is customary in this situation. Then suddenly there was an announcement on the loudspeaker, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at Ulm main station." Ulm?? I wanted to go to Munich! I spoke with the woman next to me, asking her why we weren't in Munich. "We will be, in 2 hours!" Huh? Then I realized what I had done. I had gotten on the train that takes for ever and stops in all major cities. In other words: the wrong train! I learned that the hard way....

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Hey-you're American: why aren't you fat?
On Saturday, the day after arriving back in Salzburg, my friend Chuck and I went shopping at the local mall. This type of outing always ends with coffee at McCafe, and that day was no different. He and I got seats next to two morbidly obese Austrian girls. They had more than there fair share of food on their plates, and they of course had dessert to go with it.

When I sat down with my iced coffee, I was excited to taste it. I hadn't had iced coffee in a long time. When I tasted it, I made a face, as it had sugar in it, even though I had specifically asked the barista whether or not it was sweetened. I explained to Chuck, in English what they had done. The fat girls next to us talked about me in German, thinking that I didn't understand. They wondered out loud why I was complaining about it not having sugar. And at one point the girl said, "I guess not all Americans are fat. I mean look at us, Austrians are fatter."

Ignorance is everywhere, not just in America. No, not all Americans are fat. And for the record, I frequent McDonald's for the coffee and not for the quarter pounder with cheese (which I have never even had, by the way). And some Americans can speak German-10% of the population to be more exact. You, my dears, are twits.

Oh life abroad... Adding to stories for my upcoming best-seller :)